meeting the grind/feeling like pulp

By: norcalgraymond Mood: lonely Date: 06/12/2007 18:12:32 Music: quiet time

Have had some down time.  Feeling kind of low about not being able to travel.  I'm sitting here.  My backside (Oh "I need") needs some attention.  I wondering why it's so damn hard to hook up.  I know the answer.  It's my standards for commitment, truth, safe and sane connections and my obligations to those that I love.

It's hard looking past the cruise or lose mentality.  I can easily go find someone that wants to poke me.  The thrill is cool.  But who is it that you are letting in your head and body.  Some degenerate neophyte who can't say one word to you except "oooooh. yeah.  your ass is mine."

That's what I get for being closet minded.  It sucks being afraid that someone is going to take your dignity away.  But hell when I cruise I give it away in droves.  I try to remain positive and hopeful that someone will recognize me.  I'm a slut at heart.  Fill my hole.  Is all think about sometime.  But what I'm really hoping for is someone to fill my heart and my hole.